New work: The girl writhes

New work by a contributor. Is it some masculine thing, then, this judgment that is like some fucked-up sense of what is right and strong, not weak or insignificant? She sits alone, the taste of pennies in her mouth — a stringent dryness, the wave heaving upward, like the tide swell shoreward, bringing, then leaving behind salty, […]

Words of a tether: the tie that binds, or marriage by any other name

My friend Steph says that if you haven’t put a ring on her finger, you don’t get to call her your wife. I get that. I agree with her. Now that marriage has arrived in my neighborhood, most of the well-worn excuses for not marrying your girlfriend (squeeze, babe, fiancée, fill in the blank) have disappeared here […]

Lesbian dress-for-success: what does your look say about you?

As I do often, today I have been pondering the butch-femme continuum: it’s one of my favorite  conversations. This dialog is unending because the nuances are as varied as the women who wear the clothes…or lipstick, or chains, or boots, or tee-shirts, or fill-in-the-blank. We know the stereotypes: High Femme, Stone Butch, Androgynous, Mother-Earth, and […]

If you have to go to lesbian couples’ therapy in the first year you are in trouble.

When a relationship is new, let’s say at three months, you should still be lusting it up, feeling good, unable to get enough of each other. If, instead, you find yourself confronted by a demand for couples’ therapy six weeks into dating, then cut your losses. Unless the sex is so incredible that you’re willing […]

Is a woman who has had more than one child less gay than the so-called gold-star lesbian?

I wonder if this question says something about how deeply buried our desires are, or how deeply we are imprinted by our shame. I love loaded questions!  I know there isn’t much discussion here yet as I write this, but I am hoping there will be, soon – a virtual rap group if you will. […]

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I read an article the other day that listed the top regrets of people who were dying. This was number 1 on that list. The article went on to point out that we often travel our lives based on what others want or believe. Degrees, jobs, families. We don’t pursue our dreams because we were […]